Hello humans! Today’s post is a little different to my usual book reviews. Don’t fret, I’ll be back sharing my ramblings and witterings soon but one of my goals for 2018 is to include more non-review posts on the blog and to see how they go.
Do you ever find yourself wishing there were more hours in the day, more moments in which you could snatch just one more chapter? Well have no fear! I have a few foolproof* ways for you to get every second of reading out of the day.
*May not actually be foolproof
1) Never Sleep
You don’t really need sleep do you? It’s just a pesky activity that helps your body to rest or some nonsense! Ditch sleeping and you’ll gain yourself between three and eight more hours to the day in which you can read.
Side note: some people may think this is odd, so be sure to pretend to go to sleep, get into bed, pull up the covers and then click your reading light on. They’ll never know!
2) Move into your Local Bookshop
Do you waste precious hours going from your bookshop to your house and back again? Eliminate that commute by simply moving into the bookshop. All you will need is a sleeping bag, a torch and a supply of adequate snacks (I suggest biscuits).
It has come to my attention that some bookshops may not take kindly to their customers cohabiting the space with them. To avoid conflict, move in without them realising! During opening hours sneak under a table of books and carefully construct a wall of books shielding you from the proprietor and any security cameras they may have installed. Just make sure you sneak out early in the morning so no one sees you.
3) Read at all Times
It’s a well known tip to carry a book with you at all times so you can read whenever. It’s something I myself practice. But has anyone tried reading constantly? In the shower? Pop that book into a waterproof container and read a few pages while you shampoo. In an important business meeting? Slip your ereader up your sleeve and crack on with another chapter while your boss drones on and on.* At your own wedding? Persuade your future spouse to hold a book up for you at the end of the aisle, so long as you say ‘I do’ at the right time no one will mind!
*Remember to keep nodding as if you are listening or they might catch on.
These are just three ways you can squeeze a bit more reading into your busy schedule. Do you want more tips? Do you have any of your own to share? Let me know in the comments below.
(p.s. I don’t actually advocate not sleeping please don’t sue me).